Our idea of a real problem is someone else's idea of an ultimate dream. Put the 'problem' in perspective
Tony RobbinsRead
Why do people persist in a dissatisfying relationship, unwilling either to work toward solutions or end it and move on? It's because they know changing will lead to the unknown, and most people believe that the unknown will be much more painful than what they're already experiencing.
Interpretation
People often stay in unsatisfactory relationships due to fear of the unknown.
Tony Robbins highlights the tendency of individuals to cling to familiar but unhappy relationships due to a fear of change. The discomfort of the current situation is often seen as a safer choice than venturing into the unknown, which is perceived to be more painful, even if it could lead to a better outcome.
In practice
In a relationship workshop, one might quote Robbins to highlight why participants resist change.
Our idea of a real problem is someone else's idea of an ultimate dream. Put the 'problem' in perspective
There are no real successes without rejection. The more rejection you get, the better you are, the more you've learned, the closer you are to your outcome... If you can handle rejection, you'll learn to get everything you want.
What's the ultimate price I'll pay if I don't stop this indulgence now? By asking questions like this, they'll associate pain to overeating, and their behavior will change immediately.
Happiness and success in life are not the result of what we have, but rather of how we live. What we do with the things we have makes the biggest difference in the quality of life.
As a species, we're not only wired to choose today over tomorrow, but we hate to feel like we're losing out on something. The bottom line is, if we feel like we're losing something we avoid it, we won't do it. That's why so many people don't save and invest. Saving sounds like you're giving something up, you're losing something today. But you're not.
Any Idiot can point out a problem .... A leader is willing to do something about it! Leaders solve problems!
Most people who meet my wife quickly conclude that she is remarkable. They are right about this. She is smart, funny and thoroughly charming... Often, after hearing her speak at some function or working with her on a project, people will approach me and say something to the effect of "You know, I think the world of you, Barack, but your wife... wow!"
Women themselves are so happy, and so beautiful, when they're strong, that they naturally choose powerful men, even if that power's so enermous there's a real risk it could shatter them.
In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts and to be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers.
I never ceased to be surprised when southern whites, at their homes or clubs, told racial jokes and spoke so derogatorily of blacks while longtime servants, for whom they quite clearly had some affection, were well within earshot.
Somewhere in his body--perhaps in the marrow of his bones--he would continue to feel her absence.
When you connect to someone on a human level, and you get to know about them, you can begin to love the things that make them different. That's when fear dissipates, and that's when we can live the life that we're all supposed to be living.
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