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Rather than going after our walls and barriers with a sledgehammer, we pay attention to them. With gentleness and honesty, we move closer to those walls. We touch them and smell them and get to know them well. We begin a process of acknowledging our aversions and our cravings. We become familiar with the strategies and beliefs we use to build the walls: What are the stories I tell myself? What repels me and what attracts me? We start to get curious about what’s going on.
Pema Chodron
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Interpretation

What this quote means

The quote emphasizes the importance of understanding and acknowledging our emotional barriers instead of forcefully trying to break them down.

Pema Chodron's quote highlights the significance of approaching our emotional barriers with curiosity and gentleness rather than aggression. By taking the time to understand our fears, aversions, and the beliefs that construct our walls, we can foster personal growth and self-awareness. This reflective practice allows us to explore our inner narratives and motivations, paving the way for meaningful change and deeper connections with ourselves and others.

Themes

Self-AwarenessEmotional BarriersCuriosityGentlenessPersonal Growth

In practice

Example use cases

In a motivational speech about overcoming personal challenges.

More from Pema Chodron

The spiritual journey involves going beyond hope and fear, stepping into unknown territory, continually moving forward. The most important aspect of being on the spiritual path may be just to keep moving.
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It's said that when we die, the four elements - earth, air, fire and water - dissolve one by one, each into the other, and finally just dissolve into space. But while we're living, we share the energy that makes everything, from a blade of grass to an elephant, grow and live and then inevitably wear out and die. This energy, this life force, creates the whole world.
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Meditation practice isn’t about trying to throw ourselves away and become something better. It’s about befriending who we are already. The ground of practice is you or me or whoever we are right now, just as we are. That’s the ground, that’s what we study, that’s what we come to know with tremendous curiosity and interest.
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We have two alternatives: either we question our beliefs - or we don't. Either we accept our fixed versions of reality- or we begin to challenge them. In Buddha's opinion, to train in staying open and curious - to train in dissolving our assumptions and beliefs - is the best use of our human lives.
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