I can never drive my car over a bridge without thinking of suicide. I can never look at a lake or an ocean without thinking of suicide.
To experience real agony is something hard to write about, impossible to understand while it grips you; you're frightened out of your wits, can’t sit still, move, or even go decently insane.
Interpretation
What this quote means
The quote explores the profound and often chaotic experience of agony, emphasizing its complexity and the fear it instills.
Charles Bukowski's quote delves into the intense and often overwhelming nature of real agony. He describes it as a state that is difficult to articulate and comprehend while one is in its grasp. It evokes a sense of fear and restlessness that can render a person immobilized, highlighting the deep psychological turmoil that accompanies such pain. The vivid imagery conveys that agony is not just a physical sensation but a profound emotional and mental experience that can drive one to the brink of insanity.
Themes
In practice
Example use cases
In a talk about mental health, one might quote Bukowski to emphasize the complexities of experiencing deep emotional pain.
More from Charles Bukowski
All quotes →when I am feeling low all i have to do is watch my cats and my courage returns
The masses are always wrong...Wisdom is doing everything the crowd does not do. All you do is reverse the totality of their learning and you have the heaven they're looking for.
I'm going to open another vottle. not a vottle, but a bottle. you open it and I'll drink it. and you try to write as much as I did without falling off of your chair.
I lapsed into my pathetic cut-off period. Often with humans, both good and bad, my senses simply shut off, they get tired, I give up. I am polite. I nod. I pretend to understand because I don’t want anybody to be hurt. That is the one weakness that has lead me into the most trouble. Trying to be kind to others I often get my soul shredded into a kind of spiritual pasta. No matter. My brain shuts off. I listen. I respond. And they are too dumb to know that I am not there.
He asked, "what makes a man a writer?" "well," I said, "it's simple, it's either you get it down on paper or you jump off a bridge. writers are desperate people and when they stop being desperate they stop being writers." "are you desperate?" "I don't know.
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Spare me through your mercy, do not punish me through your justice.