Life is a near-death experience.
George CarlinRead
The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.
Interpretation
This quote humorously highlights the irony of legal professionals being held to moral laws.
George Carlin's quote critiques the idea of displaying religious moral laws in a courthouse filled with individuals who often operate outside those moral constraints. The humor lies in the suggestion that such commandments would create discomfort among legal professionals who may frequently engage in questionable ethics, thus making it impractical to display these 'Thou shalt not' statements in such a setting.
In practice
This quote can be used in a speech about the relationship between law and morality.
Life is a near-death experience.
Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car."
If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
This is a lttle prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Amen and Awomen.
Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people.
Intelligence tests are biased toward the literate.
I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.
My face looks like a wedding-cake left out in the rain.
It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it.
A sold-out house my first night back. Do you have any idea what kinda pressure that is? I could have been at home in my warm bed, playing Nintendo.
Everyone has the right to be stupid on occasion, but Comrade Macdonald abuses the privilege.
Nothing is so aggravating as calmness. There is something positively brutal about the good temper of most modern men.
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