Life is a near-death experience.
George CarlinRead
Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people.
Interpretation
What this quote means
The quote humorously suggests that honesty about one's ability to judge character can be a valid excuse for jury duty.
George Carlin's quote plays on the absurdity of trying to evade civic duties like jury duty by lying. Instead, he suggests a comical honesty where one claims they would excel as a juror due to their knack for identifying guilt, which flips the narrative from avoidance to a humorous form of pride in one's observational skills.
Themes
Jury DutyTruthGuiltHumorHonesty
In practice
Example use cases
During a speech about civic responsibility.
More from George Carlin
All quotes →Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car."
George CarlinRead
If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
George CarlinRead
This is a lttle prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Amen and Awomen.
George CarlinRead
Intelligence tests are biased toward the literate.
George CarlinRead
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
George CarlinRead
Similar quotes
I am an old scholar, better-looking now than when I was young. That's what sitting on your ass does to your face.
Leonard CohenRead
...after a few days at the desk, telling the truth in an interesting way turns out to be as easy and pleasurable as bathing a cat.
Anne LamottRead
It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE. Loosely translated, this means, You're on your own, Bernice.
Erma BombeckRead
I want to be silly, and that's being authentic just as much as being open and honest. It's authentic to make weird clown horn noises when it strikes you.
Tig NotaroRead
Cats, as a class, have never completely got over the snootiness caused by the fact that in ancient Egypt they were worshipped as gods. This makes them prone to set themselves up as critics and censors of the frail and erring human beings whose lot they share.
P. G. WodehouseRead
The exquisite code of politeness of the Woosters prevented me clipping her one on the ear-hole, but I would have given a shilling to be able to do it. There seemed to me something deliberately fat-headed in the way she persisted in missing the gist.
P. G. WodehouseRead