Life is a near-death experience.
George CarlinRead
Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people.
Interpretation
The quote humorously suggests that honesty about one's ability to judge character can be a valid excuse for jury duty.
George Carlin's quote plays on the absurdity of trying to evade civic duties like jury duty by lying. Instead, he suggests a comical honesty where one claims they would excel as a juror due to their knack for identifying guilt, which flips the narrative from avoidance to a humorous form of pride in one's observational skills.
In practice
During a speech about civic responsibility.
Life is a near-death experience.
Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car."
If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
This is a lttle prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Amen and Awomen.
Intelligence tests are biased toward the literate.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!
The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese?
A good laugh is a mighty good thing, and rather too scarce a good thing.
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
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