Life is a near-death experience.
George CarlinRead
Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people.
Interpretation
The quote humorously suggests that honesty about one's ability to judge character can be a valid excuse for jury duty.
George Carlin's quote plays on the absurdity of trying to evade civic duties like jury duty by lying. Instead, he suggests a comical honesty where one claims they would excel as a juror due to their knack for identifying guilt, which flips the narrative from avoidance to a humorous form of pride in one's observational skills.
In practice
During a speech about civic responsibility.
Life is a near-death experience.
Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car."
If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
This is a lttle prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Amen and Awomen.
Intelligence tests are biased toward the literate.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
I remain just one thing, and one thing only - and that is a clown. It places me on a far higher plane than any politician.
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who utters them.
All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.
When you make a TV show, they always say you're a guest in someone's home. Online, you're a guest in someone's face. So that's why I try to make it sound and look and feel very inviting and attractive, because I know that I'm in your face.
Don't, Ginny, we'll send you loads of owls. We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat. George! Only joking, Mum.
Superheroes? In New York? Give me a break!
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