Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.
Interpretation
This quote humorously defines rum as a dangerous drink for those who usually abstain from alcohol.
Ambrose Bierce's quote plays with the idea that certain intoxicating substances, particularly rum, can lead to irrational behavior and madness, especially in those who are not accustomed to drinking. The wit lies in the paradox of labeling rum generically while highlighting its potent effect on total abstainers, suggesting that for those who avoid alcohol, the experience of consuming it could be overwhelmingly chaotic and unpredictable.
In practice
This quote could be used at a social gathering to highlight the humorous risks of drinking.
PALM, n. A species of tree . . . of which the familiar "itching palm" ("Palma hominis") is most widely distributed . . . . This noble vegetable exudes a kind of invisible gum, which may be detected by applying to the bark a piece of gold or silver.
Human nature is pretty well balanced; for every lacking virtue there is a rough substitute that will serve at a pinch--as cunning is the wisdom of the unwise, and ferocity the courage of the coward.
Indigestion: A disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind. As the simple Red Man of the Western Wild put it, with, it must be confessed, a certain force: 'Plenty well, no pray; big belly ache, heap God.'
Disobey n:To celebrate with an appropriate ceremony the maturity of a command
NOUMENON, n. That which exists, as distinguished from that which merely seems to exist, the latter being a phenomenon. The noumenon is a bit difficult to locate; it can be apprehended only by a process of reasoning - which is a phenomenon.
PARDON, v. To remit a penalty and restore to the life of crime. To add to the lure of crime the temptation of ingratitude.
The invitation to Miss Myra St. Claire's bobbing party spent the morning in his coat pocket, where it had an intense physical affair with a dusty piece of peanut brittle.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
A day without laughter is a day wasted.
Cocaine is God's way of telling you you are making too much money.
Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
The party and the Krikkit warship looked, in their writhings, a little like two ducks, one of which is trying to make a third duck inside the second duck, whilst the second duck is trying very hard to explain that it doesn't feel ready for a third duck right now, is uncertain that it would want any putative third duck anyway, and certainly not whilst it, the second duck, was busy flying.
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