Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.
Interpretation
This quote humorously defines rum as a dangerous drink for those who usually abstain from alcohol.
Ambrose Bierce's quote plays with the idea that certain intoxicating substances, particularly rum, can lead to irrational behavior and madness, especially in those who are not accustomed to drinking. The wit lies in the paradox of labeling rum generically while highlighting its potent effect on total abstainers, suggesting that for those who avoid alcohol, the experience of consuming it could be overwhelmingly chaotic and unpredictable.
In practice
This quote could be used at a social gathering to highlight the humorous risks of drinking.
PALM, n. A species of tree . . . of which the familiar "itching palm" ("Palma hominis") is most widely distributed . . . . This noble vegetable exudes a kind of invisible gum, which may be detected by applying to the bark a piece of gold or silver.
Human nature is pretty well balanced; for every lacking virtue there is a rough substitute that will serve at a pinch--as cunning is the wisdom of the unwise, and ferocity the courage of the coward.
Indigestion: A disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind. As the simple Red Man of the Western Wild put it, with, it must be confessed, a certain force: 'Plenty well, no pray; big belly ache, heap God.'
Disobey n:To celebrate with an appropriate ceremony the maturity of a command
NOUMENON, n. That which exists, as distinguished from that which merely seems to exist, the latter being a phenomenon. The noumenon is a bit difficult to locate; it can be apprehended only by a process of reasoning - which is a phenomenon.
PARDON, v. To remit a penalty and restore to the life of crime. To add to the lure of crime the temptation of ingratitude.
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
I was in NYC during 9/11; it happened on a Tuesday, I was on stage Thursday. It was a small crowd, but it took about 10 days and comedy clubs were packed.
I hasten to laugh at everything, for fear of being obliged to weep.
You look at the world and see how scary it can be sometimes and still try to deal with the fear. Comedy can deal with the fear and still not paralyze you or tell you that it's going away. You say, OK, you got certain choices here, you can laugh at them and then once you've laughed at them and you have expunged the demon, now you can deal with them. That's what I do when I do my act.
Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
There were very few women comics when I started out doing stand-up. But I always saw that as a great advantage.
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