You remind me of the Siberian hunting spider, which adopts a highly convincing limp in three of its eight legs in order to attract its main prey, the so-called Samaritan squirrel, which takes pity on the spider, and then the spider jumps on it and injects the paralyzing venom, while the squirrel remains bafflingly philosophical about the whole thing. Not to be confused with the Ukrainian hunting spider, which actually has got a limp and is, as such, completely harmless, and a little bit bitter about the whole thing.
Of course, uh, the universe is gradually slowing down and, uh, will eventually collapse inwardly on itself, according to the laws of entropy when all… - Bill Bailey
Of course, uh, the universe is gradually slowing down and, uh, will eventually collapse inwardly on itself, according to the laws of entropy when all…
- Bill Bailey
Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability. - Bill Bailey
Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.
The day after tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life - that way you've always got a couple of days in hand. - Bill Bailey
The day after tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life - that way you've always got a couple of days in hand.
A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "Why the long face?". The horse replies: "I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my exis… - Bill Bailey
A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "Why the long face?". The horse replies: "I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my exis…
I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate; nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusi… - Bill Bailey
I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate; nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusi…
I'm sort of like a post-modern vegetarian; I eat meat ironically. - Bill Bailey
I'm sort of like a post-modern vegetarian; I eat meat ironically.
The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die. - Bill Bailey
The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die.
I got ham but I'm not a Hamster - Bill Bailey
I got ham but I'm not a Hamster
I'm English and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise. - Bill Bailey
I'm English and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise.
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