The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
You never know where to look when eating a banana. - Peter Kay
You never know where to look when eating a banana.
- Peter Kay
I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. - Peter Kay
I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat? - Peter Kay
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?
I'm not homophobic. I'm not scared of my house. - Peter Kay
I'm not homophobic. I'm not scared of my house.
Garlic bread - it's the future, I've tasted it. - Peter Kay
Garlic bread - it's the future, I've tasted it.
One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger. - Peter Kay
One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date? - Peter Kay
Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?
You ever dip your biscuit in your tea and it breaks. I swear now, you never get used to that. - Peter Kay
You ever dip your biscuit in your tea and it breaks. I swear now, you never get used to that.
Old women with mobile phones look wrong. - Peter Kay
Old women with mobile phones look wrong.
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