Life is a near-death experience.
George CarlinRead
When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
Interpretation
The quote highlights the irony of impatience in the face of having ample time.
George Carlin’s quote humorously questions the common expression of impatience. It evokes the idea that everyone has the same amount of time in a day, which makes impatience seem unreasonable and absurd, inviting us to reflect on our perceptions of time and urgency.
In practice
In a stand-up comedy routine about the quirks of human behavior.
Life is a near-death experience.
Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car."
If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
This is a lttle prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Amen and Awomen.
Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people.
Intelligence tests are biased toward the literate.
The trouble with law is lawyers.
All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
Comedy holds the greatest risk for an actor, and laughter is the reward.
Throughout my academic career, I'd given some pretty good talks. But being considered the best speaker in the computer science department is like being known as the tallest of the Seven Dwarfs.
Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings.
A politician is an arse upon which everyone has sat except a man.
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