some mornings... I sit at the kitchen table shaking salt into the hairs on my arm, and a feeling shoves up in me: it's finished. Everything went past without me.
Jennifer EganRead
I grew up as a step-kid, always a little outside, always trying hard to follow and fit in. But over time, I've come to feel that my tendency toward self-erasure is a deep and real part of me. I think I'd be this way no matter how I grew up.
Interpretation
What this quote means
This quote reflects on the complexities of identity and belonging, particularly for those who feel different or disconnected.
In this quote, Jennifer Egan discusses her experiences growing up as a stepchild and the feeling of being somewhat alienated and striving to fit in. She reveals a deeper insight that her inclination to diminish her own presence for the sake of others is not merely a consequence of her upbringing, but rather an intrinsic aspect of her identity that remains regardless of her circumstances.
Themes
IdentityBelongingSelf-ErasureAcceptancePersonal-Growth
In practice
Example use cases
This quote can be used in a therapy session to discuss identity issues.
More from Jennifer Egan
All quotes →I think there are ways in which we censor ourselves; that's the most dangerous kind of censorship - that's how hegemony works.
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I find myself thinking more about the past as I get older... maybe because there's just more of it to think about. At the same time, I'm less haunted by it than I was as a younger person. I guess that's probably the ideal: to reach a point where you have access to all of your memories, but you don't feel victimized by them.
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I think, for one thing, all of us remember those teenage years and those songs that we fell in love with and the music scene that we were part of. So, in a certain way, music cuts through time like almost nothing else. You know, it makes us feel like we're back in an earlier moment.
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And Alex understood that Scotty Hausmann did not exist. He was a word casing in human form: a shell whose essence has vanished.
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We live in a moment and a culture when reading is really endangered. There's simply no way to write well, though, if you're not reading well.
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