I let my mind wander and it didn't come back.

- Bill Watterson

I liked things better when I didn't understand them.

- Bill Watterson

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

- Bill Watterson

That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.

- Bill Watterson

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

- Bill Watterson

I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.

- Bill Watterson

It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.

- Bill Watterson

The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.

- Bill Watterson

God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.

- Bill Watterson