You gotta be happy when you wake up in the morning and look at what's next to ya. You wanna just hop on it again. That's how I feel. That's what life is about. Because when you leave the house, it's all misery anyway.
Life is like sex, baby - the more you put in, the more you get out. End of story. - Andrew Dice Clay
Life is like sex, baby - the more you put in, the more you get out. End of story.
- Andrew Dice Clay
I'm not the greatest husband - I've got a girlfriend. It doesn't really please my wife, but then if I was looking to please her I wouldn't have a gir… - Andrew Dice Clay
I'm not the greatest husband - I've got a girlfriend. It doesn't really please my wife, but then if I was looking to please her I wouldn't have a gir…
When you jerk off, you're saying "Hey", I care about me. - Andrew Dice Clay
When you jerk off, you're saying "Hey", I care about me.
Women today leave the house in animal prints and six inch stilettos, what does that say? I'm going to church? They're saying I want you to hang me by… - Andrew Dice Clay
Women today leave the house in animal prints and six inch stilettos, what does that say? I'm going to church? They're saying I want you to hang me by…
I do whatever I do. I go to the club. I work on material. While other people are sleeping, I'm awake. I always liked that. I like being able to drive… - Andrew Dice Clay
I do whatever I do. I go to the club. I work on material. While other people are sleeping, I'm awake. I always liked that. I like being able to drive…
I think the best part of being gay is when you're done [with sex], you could turn over and talk about football. - Andrew Dice Clay
I think the best part of being gay is when you're done [with sex], you could turn over and talk about football.
There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids... her uterus fell out! - Andrew Dice Clay
There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids... her uterus fell out!
Little Boy Blue... he needed the money! - Andrew Dice Clay
Little Boy Blue... he needed the money!
I always wanted to give people the more exciting version of what I think a comedian should be - because I didn't grow up with comics, I grew up with … - Andrew Dice Clay
I always wanted to give people the more exciting version of what I think a comedian should be - because I didn't grow up with comics, I grew up with …
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