You are much happier when you are happy than when you ain't.

- Ogden Nash

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

- Ogden Nash

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

- Ogden Nash

Humor is the best means of surviving in a difficult world.

- Ogden Nash

God in His wisdom made the fly And then forgot to tell us why.

- Ogden Nash

Wind is caused by the trees waving their branches.

- Ogden Nash

I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned.

- Ogden Nash

Some primal termite knocked on wood. And tasted it, and found it good. And that is why your Cousin May Fell through the parlor floor today.

- Ogden Nash

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

- Ogden Nash