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The thing that moves us to pride or shame is not the mere mechanical reflection of ourselves but the imagined effect of this reflection upon another's mind.
Charles Horton Cooley
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Interpretation

What this quote means

Our feelings of pride or shame stem from how we think others perceive us, not just our self-image.

This quote by Charles Horton Cooley suggests that our emotions, specifically pride and shame, are influenced more by our perceptions of others' opinions of us rather than by an objective assessment of ourselves. It highlights the idea that social interactions and the awareness of how we are seen by others can deeply affect our self-esteem and emotional state, indicating that our identities are shaped significantly by societal perceptions.

Themes

PrideShamePerceptionSelf-ImageSocialIdentity

In practice

Example use cases

In a discussion about self-esteem, this quote can illustrate how our feelings are often tied to social perceptions.

More from Charles Horton Cooley

To get away from one's working environment is, in a sense, to get away from one's self; and this is often the chief advantage of travel and change.
Charles Horton CooleyRead
If we divine a discrepancy between a man's words and his character, the whole impression of him becomes broken and painful; he revolts the imagination by his lack of unity, and even the good in him is hardly accepted.
Charles Horton CooleyRead
We have no higher life that is really apart from other people. It is by imagining them that our personality is built up; to be without the power of imagining them is to be a low-grade idiot.
Charles Horton CooleyRead
The imaginations which people have of one another are the solid facts of society.
Charles Horton CooleyRead
Each man must have his I; it is more necessary to him than bread; and if he does not find scope for it within the existing institutions he will be likely to make trouble.
Charles Horton CooleyRead
By recognizing a favorable opinion of yourself, and taking pleasure in it, you in a measure give yourself and your peace of mind into the keeping of another, of whose attitude you can never be certain. You have a new source of doubt and apprehension.
Charles Horton CooleyRead

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