Life is a near-death experience.
George CarlinRead
Things I wonder about the FBI's list of the "Ten Most Wanted" criminals: When they catch a guy and he comes off the list, does number eleven automatically move up? And does he see it as a promotion? Does he call his criminal friends and say, "I made it, Bruno. I'm finally on the list"?
Interpretation
This quote humorously questions the implications of being removed from a 'most wanted' list.
George Carlin uses his signature wit to explore the absurdity surrounding the FBI's 'Ten Most Wanted' list. He prompts us to consider the bizarre perspective of a criminal who might feel a sense of accomplishment or status from being recognized on such a notorious list, highlighting the humor in the way society views crime and notoriety.
In practice
This quote can be used in a comedy show to illustrate the absurdity of criminal culture.
Life is a near-death experience.
Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car."
If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
This is a lttle prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Amen and Awomen.
Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people.
Intelligence tests are biased toward the literate.
Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind.
I saw a startling sight today, a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
It's easy to get a loan unless you need it.
I am not only witty in myself, but the cause that wit is in other men.
I am not gay, but if I were, I would be the first one running out of the closet.
For a loser, Vegas is the meanest town on earth.
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