Life is a near-death experience.
George CarlinRead
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
Interpretation
This quote humorously highlights the disparity in intelligence levels among people.
George Carlin's quote cleverly emphasizes that the average person's intelligence is often quite low, and it becomes evident when we consider that there are individuals who are even less aware or informed than the average. It's a satirical take on human intelligence, serving to remind us not to assume too much when engaging with others, as they might not reach the standards we expect.
In practice
This quote can be used in a comedy routine to highlight the absurdity of some common beliefs.
Life is a near-death experience.
Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car."
If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
This is a lttle prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Amen and Awomen.
Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people.
Intelligence tests are biased toward the literate.
It is a very inconvenient habit of kittens (Alice had once made the remark) that whatever you say to them, they always purr.
I have no idea what my best material is. Different people like different things. I'll say this: The political stuff gets the press, but the relationship jokes sell all the seats.
Today's public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can't read them either.
If I had to choose between dribbling past 5 players and scoring from 40 yards at Anfield or shagging miss world, it'd be a hard choice. Thankfully, i've done both
The wheels are turning, but the hamsters are all dead. Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot. I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig, you get dirty; and besides, the pig likes it.
There aren't many downsides to being rich, other than paying taxes and having relatives asking for money. But being famous, that's a 24 hour job right there.
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