Life is a near-death experience.
George CarlinRead
I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
Interpretation
The quote humorously points to the simple desires of life while referencing a famous phrase about enjoying life.
In this quote, George Carlin humorously shares about an individual whose aspirations are straightforward and uncomplicated—focusing on basic pleasures such as eating and drinking. The phrase 'be Mary' plays on the famous expression 'eat, drink, and be merry,' which suggests a life of enjoyment and contentment, possibly hinting at the absurdity of overcomplicating ambitions in life.
In practice
This quote can be used in a comedy routine to highlight the absurdity of ambition.
Life is a near-death experience.
Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car."
If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
This is a lttle prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Amen and Awomen.
Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people.
Intelligence tests are biased toward the literate.
I got a fan letter on the back of a prison menu. And I remember thinking, 'Well, they get pie. It's not so bad. They get pie on the weekends.' I want to say blueberry and also a Boston cream pie. Not so bad.
The laughter of man is more terrible than his tears, and takes more forms hollow, heartless, mirthless, maniacal.
The difference between comedians and the general public is that we are meant to be funnier. And when you've got politicians giving material so easy that the general public is doing it, what is the necessity of us anymore?
There's no real preparing at home for stand-up. You just go and you just do it.
Hypocrite: The man who murdered his parents, and then pleaded for mercy on the grounds that he was an orphan.
New Rule: This Valentine’s Day Americans must remember that politicians are like a box of chocolates. We bite into them to find out what's on the inside only to discover that Democrats are too often soft and gooey and Republicans are mostly nuts.
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