Falling in love is not an extension of one's limits or boundaries; it is a partial and temporary collapse of them.
M. Scott PeckRead
An unconscious, gentle process whereby people who want to be loving attempt to be so by telling little white lies, by withholding some of the truth about themselves and their feelings in order to avoid conflict. Pseudocommunity is conflict-avoiding; true community is conflict-resolving.
Interpretation
What this quote means
The quote emphasizes the distinction between superficial interactions and genuine community based on honesty and conflict resolution.
M. Scott Peck highlights the difference between 'pseudocommunity' and true community. Pseudocommunity is characterized by individuals telling small lies or withholding truths to maintain peace and avoid confrontation, which ultimately leads to a lack of genuine connection. True community, on the other hand, embraces open communication and conflict resolution, fostering deeper relationships built on trust and authenticity.
Themes
CommunityHonestyRelationshipsConflictTruth
In practice
Example use cases
In a team meeting, I used this quote to encourage my colleagues to share their true feelings about the project instead of avoiding tough conversations.
More from M. Scott Peck
All quotes →Listening well is an exercise of attention and by necessity hard work. It is because they do not realize this or because they are not willing to do the work that most people do not listen well.
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If your goal is to avoid pain and escape suffering, I would not advise you to seek higher levels of consciousness or spiritual evolution.
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All my life I used to wonder what I would become when I grew up. Then, about seven years ago, I realized that I was never going to grow up--that growing is an ever ongoing process.
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When we love someone our love becomes demonstrable or real only through our exertion - through the fact that for that someone (or for ourself) we take an extra step or walk an extra mile. Love is not effortless. To the contrary, love is effortful.
M. Scott PeckRead
Idealists are people who believe in the potential of human nature for transformation. . . . The most essential attribute of human nature is its mutability and freedom from instinct . . . it is always within our power to change our nature. So it is actually the idealists who are on the mark and the realists who are off base.
M. Scott PeckRead
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