I am as frustrated with society as a pyromaniac in a petrified forest.

- A. Whitney Brown

The Baptists believe in The Right to Life before you're born. They also believe in Life After Death, but that is a privilege and you have to earn it …

- A. Whitney Brown

Once again decent citizens will be able to enter this house of worship, kneel down in front of a nearly-naked man hanging from a wooden apparatus by …

- A. Whitney Brown

Any good history book is mainly just a long list of mistakes, complete with names and dates. It's very embarrassing.

- A. Whitney Brown

The past actually happened. History is what someone took the time to write down.

- A. Whitney Brown

Plant trees. They give us two of the most crucial elements for our survival: oxygen and books.

- A. Whitney Brown

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

- A. Whitney Brown

A group of white South Africans recently killed a black lawyer because he was black. That was wrong. They should have killed him because he was a law…

- A. Whitney Brown

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.

- A. Whitney Brown