My children cause me the most exquisite suffering of which I have any experience. It is the suffering of ambivalence: the murderous alternation between bitter resentment and raw-edged nerves, and blissful gratification and tenderness. Sometimes I seem to myself, in my feelings toward these tiny guiltless beings, a monster of selfishness and intolerance.
Whatever is unnamed, undepicted in images, whatever is omitted from biography, censored in collections of letters, whatever is misnamed as something else, made difficult-to-come-by, whatever is buried in the memory by the collapse of meaning under an inadequate or lying language - this will become, not merely unspoken, but unspeakable.
Interpretation
What this quote means
The quote highlights the power of language in shaping our understanding and the dangers of omitting or misrepresenting experiences.
Adrienne Rich's quote emphasizes the importance of language in articulating experiences and memories. When aspects of our lives, identities, or histories are omitted, misnamed, or inadequately described, they become not only unexpressed but also fundamentally challenging to convey, leading to a loss of meaning and understanding. This speaks to the broader implications of how language shapes our reality and the necessity of representing all facets of human experience truthfully.
Themes
In practice
Example use cases
In a discussion about representation in literature, this quote can illustrate the danger of silence and omission.
More from Adrienne Rich
All quotes →The word revolution itself has become not only a dead relic of Leftism, but a key to the deadendedness of male politics: the revolution of a wheel which returns in the end to the same place; the revolving door of a politics which has liberated women only to use them, and only within the limits of male tolerance.
A president cannot meaningfully honor certain token artists while the people at large are so dishonored.'”
There is no 'the truth','a truth' - truth is not one thing, or even a system. It is an increasing complexity. the pattern of the carpet is a surface. When we look closely, or when we become weavers, we learn of the tiny multiple threads unseen in the overall pattern, the knots on the underside of the carpet
It is the suffering of ambivalence: the murderous alternation between bitter resentment and raw-edged nerves, and blissful gratification and tenderness
It's as if, in the mother's eyes, her smile, her stroking touch, the child first reads the message:'You are there!'
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