Listen once in a while. It's amazing what you can hear.

- Russell Baker

The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.

- Russell Baker

Reality is the only obstacle to happiness.

- Russell Baker

Life is always walking up to us and saying, "Come on in, the living's fine," and what do we do? Back off and take its picture.

- Russell Baker

An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to be at best incomplete and very often false, misleading, fictiti…

- Russell Baker

The best advice I can give anybody about going out into the world is this: Don't do it. I have been out there. It is a mess....

- Russell Baker

The people who say: 'You are what you eat' have always seemed addled to me. In my opinion, you are what you think, and if you don't think, you can ea…

- Russell Baker

Happiness is a small and unworthy goal for something as big and fancy as a whole lifetime, and should be taken in small doses.

- Russell Baker

The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writ…

- Russell Baker