If you're a woman and a guy's ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that would have made you sick if you could have heard it.
Everything is amazing and nobody is happy - Louis C. K.
Everything is amazing and nobody is happy
- Louis C. K.
One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December. - Louis C. K.
One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.
I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself. - Louis C. K.
I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.
When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't. - Louis C. K.
When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.
What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you - Louis C. K.
What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you
When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president. - Louis C. K.
When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president.
Self-love is a good thing but self-awareness is more important. You need to once in a while go ‘Uh, I’m kind of an asshole.’ - Louis C. K.
Self-love is a good thing but self-awareness is more important. You need to once in a while go ‘Uh, I’m kind of an asshole.’
The greatest thing about having a child is putting yourself second in your own life. It's a massive gift to be able to say you're not the most import… - Louis C. K.
The greatest thing about having a child is putting yourself second in your own life. It's a massive gift to be able to say you're not the most import…
People get successful and they start saying, 'Well of course I am! I was chosen! I'm special!' No, you're not. - Louis C. K.
People get successful and they start saying, 'Well of course I am! I was chosen! I'm special!' No, you're not.
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