Quotes on Black Humor

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say 'I want to see the manager.'

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.