Quotes on Discworld

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

What's the good of having mastery over cosmic balance and knowing the secrets of fate if you can't blow something up?

At least I know I'm bewildered about the really fundamental and important facts of the universe.

You have to start out learning to believe the little lies. "So we can believe the big ones?" Yes. Justice, mercy, duty. That sort of thing.

People who are rather more than six feet tall and nearly as broad across the shoulders often have uneventful journeys. People jump out at them from behind rocks then say things like, "Oh. Sorry. I thought you were someone else.

"Multiple exclamation marks," he went on, shaking his head, "are a sure sign of a diseased mind."

The people who really run organizations are usually found several levels down, where it is still possible to get things done.

Taxation, gentlemen, is very much like dairy farming. The task is to extract the maximum amount of milk with the minimum amount of moo.

This is Art holding a Mirror up to Life. That’s why everything is exactly the wrong way around.

Despite rumor, Death isn't cruel--merely terribly, terribly good at his job.

People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.

The trouble with being a god is that you've got no one to pray to.

I feel like I am involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell me the rules, and who smiles all the time.

I ushered souls into the next world. I was the grave of all hope. I was the ultimate reality. I was the assassin against whom no lock would hold. - "Yes, point taken, but do you have any particular skills?"

And sin, young man, is when you treat people like things.

What kind of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter.

When people say things are a lot more complicated than that, they means they're getting worried that they won't like the truth.

The disc, being flat, has no real horizon. Any adventurous sailor who got funny ideas from staring at eggs and oranges for too long and set out for the antipodes soon learned that the reason why distant ships sometimes looked as though they were disappearing over the edge of the world was that they were disappearing over the edge of the world.

Million-to-one chances...crop up nine times out of ten.

The calendar of the Theocracy of Muntab counts down, not up. No-one knows why, but it might not be a good idea to hang around and find out.

And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head.