If it's true that men are such beasts, this must account for the fact that most women are animal lovers..

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to..

You have to have something to put your work in otherwise it's not valid.

I've lived my life again just telling it to you..

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel..

Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you..

I make movies for money, exclusively for money..

If you have nothing but love for your avocados, and you take joy in turning them into guacamole, all you need is someone to share it with..

First love is a kind of vaccination which saves a man from catching the complaint the second time..

I don't have a boyfriend right now. I'm looking for anyone with a job that I don't have to support..

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener..

I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?.

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings... and lawyers..

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them..

When one door closes, another one opens, but sometimes we wait too long looking at the closed door, and never realize that another door has been open….

Love doesn't drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator..

My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning..

In love, women are professionals, men are amateurs..

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs..

Then there was a man who said, 'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late'.

Love is like war; easy to begin, hard to end..