Quotes on Funny Wedding Advice

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

My mother once told me that if a married couple puts a penny in a pot for every time they make love in the first year, and takes a penny out every time after that, they'll never get all the pennies out of the pot.

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.