Quotes on Funny

A woman is like a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.

Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.

I can at any moment convert my time into money, but I do not require more of the latter than is sufficient for necessary purposes.

I'd worship the ground you walked on if only you walked in a better neighborhood.

May this continent, the last explored by humankind, be the first one to be spared by humankind.

Women with pasts interest men because they hope history will repeat itself.

The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

A jury too often has at least one member more ready to hang the panel than to hang the traitor.

The judge is found guilty when a criminal is acquitted.

I once saw a photograph of a large herd of wild elephants in Central Africa Seeing an airplane for the first time, and all in a state of wild collective terror... As, however, there were no journalists among them, the terror died down when the airplane was out of sight.

Oldtimers, weekends, and airplane landings are alike. If you can walk away from them, they're successful.

The church is like manure. Pile it up, and it stinks up the neighborhood. Spread it out, and it enriches the world.

He has no enemies, but he is intensely disliked by his friends.

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.

I have a brain and a uterus, and I use both.

I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.

Every time I paint a portrait I lose a friend.

Do you drink?" "Of course,I just said I was a writer.