Quotes on Funny

Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays.

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how I got there.

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

Many of us spend half of our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.

You can be young without money but you can't be old without it.

We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have to get rid of dictators,' but he's pretty much one himself.

The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery.

I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.

Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.