Quotes on Funny

Whatever it is, I'm against it.

'Don't think of it as dying,' said Death. 'Just think of it as leaving early to avoid the rush.'

I've got nothing to do today but smile.

I like Wagner's music better than anybody's. It is so loud that one can talk the whole time without other people hearing what one says.

A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.

If you have enough book space, I don't want to talk to you.

I have lost friends, some by death...others by sheer inability to cross the street.

Everything in moderation, including moderation.

By the time you swear you're his, Shivering and sighing. And he vows his passion is, Infinite, undying. Lady make note of this -- One of you is lying.

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.

Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.

We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know.

Anyone who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous; anyone who can consistently laugh at himself does not.

Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.

Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.

I was always treated as if I had insisted on being born, in opposition to the dictates of reason, religion, and morality, and against the dissuadinig arguments of my best friends.

Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.