Get it right in your head - and you'll get it right in your life..

I think we've missed a trick there. We could develop wheat with the properties of Velcro... to catch whatever it is that's forming those crop circles….

I spent my childhood scrambling round badgers and foxes and playing fantastic country kid games like knocking on people's doors and running away. God….

Stupid National Anthem... Look at this flag; Two bears fighting over a pineapple. What kind of message does that send to the world? "Come to Belarus,….

Aldous Huxley took the drug mescaline and then chronicled his experience in the book The Doors of Perception. Now, I don't actually think that's the ….

Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative..

Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently..

Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism..

A feminist jumps out of a manhole - oh, and she didn't like that..

I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but you've got to admire the workmanshi….

I am a confectionery-based existentialist..

I don't call myself an expert because I've played experts. I know a little bit about very little. But it's very hard to not be drawn into saying some….

Obviously, there's a million things we're allowed to say on late-night cable that you're not allowed to say on a prime time broadcast..

It's not so much do what you like as it is that you like what you do..

Ballplayers, like everyone else, like to get told they did something right..

Not everyone has something to say. This will not stop them from saying it..

Now that you have the knowledge of the gospel, you're called to do better..

The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised..

Now begins a torrent of words and a trickling of sense..

I invented my life because I wasn't pleased with it..

I open to anything... just about anything..