Quotes on Hilarious

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.

Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.

Do we have to know who's gay and who's straight? Can't we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive?

I think women dress for other women to let them know what their deal is. Because if women were only dressing for men, there would be nothing but Victoria's Secret. There would be no Dior.

Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion.

Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.

There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.