Explore Quotes on Humor

To be witty is not enough. One must possess sufficient wit to avoid having too much of it.

You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humor teaches tolerance.

Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.

All things being equal, people will do business with a friend; all things being unequal, people will still do business with a friend.

Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'

Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.

It is a wise child that knows its own father, and an unusual one that unreservedly approves of him.

We think our fathers fools, so wise we grow. Our wiser sons, no doubt will think us so.

When I was a kid, I used to imagine animals running under my bed. I told my dad, and he solved the problem quickly. He cut the legs off the bed.

A jury too often has at least one member more ready to hang the panel than to hang the traitor.

If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.