Explore Quotes on Humor

Gaylord Perry and Willie McCovey should know each other like a book. They've been ex-teammates for years now.

Sometimes big trees grow out of acorns - I think I heard that from a squirrel.

All the Padres need is a fly ball in the air.

Rich Folkers is throwing 'em up in the bullpen.

I've made a couple of mistakes I'd like to do over.

The early bird may get the worm, but its the second mouse that gets the cheese.

If you gain, you gain all; if you lose, you lose nothing. Wager, then, without hesitation, that He exists.

I find it discouraging - and a bit depressing - when I notice the unequal treatment afforded by the media to UFO believers on the one hand, and on the other, to those who believe in an invisible supreme being who inhabits the sky.

Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?

If you lose the power to laugh, you lose the power to think.

Everyone coming out of a perfume store is smelling the back of their hand.

Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching.

Heaven will be inherited by every man who has heaven in his soul.

The Church is not a gallery for the exhibition of eminent Christians, but a school for the education of imperfect ones.

Good nature is worth more than knowledge, more than money, more than honor, to the persons who possess it.

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road.

All my jobs have been with food in one way or another since 1948. My parents were in the hotel business, and I just loved the warm hearted people who worked so hard with such good humor.

My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.

Life is just a bowl of pits.

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.