Quotes on Humorous

No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.

Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes.

History is written by the victors.

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.

While we are postponing, life speeds by.

You're a great brother. You give us a heart attack worrying about your heart attack, which you didn't even have the decency to have!

I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.

Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you're probably watching the wrong channel.

My grandfather once told me that there were two kinds of people: those who do the work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was much less competition.

The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.

It is difficult to be sat on all day, every day, by some other creature, without forming an opinion on them. On the other hand, it is perfectly possible to sit all day, every day, on top of another creature and not have the slightest thought about them whatsoever.

Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.

Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.

Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.

The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.