Quotes on Ifs

We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get it, then don't watch us.

Live as if you were living already for the second time.

If you give me anything less than your best, you're not only cheating yourself. your coaches, your teamates, everybody in Green Bay, and everything pro football stands for. Your also cheating the Maker who gave you the talent.

All stories, if continued far enough, end in death.

If you are working 50 hours a week in a factory, you don't have time to read 10 newspapers a day and go back to declassified government archives. But such people may have far-reaching insights into the way the world works.

The intellectual tradition is one of servility to power, and if I didn't betray it I'd be ashamed of myself.

I have often thought that if a rational Fascist dictatorship were to exist, then it would choose the American system.

Live each day as if it be your last.

Everyone has a 'risk muscle.' You keep it in shape by trying new things. If you don't, it atrophies. Make a point of using it at least once a day.

If I have played my part well, clap your hands, and dismiss me with applause from the stage.

May it be my privilege to have the happiness of establishing the commonwealth on a firm and secure basis and thus enjoy the reward which I desire, but only if I may be called the author of the best possible government; and bear with me the hope when I die that the foundations which I have laid for its future government, will stand firm and stable.

When putting words together is good to do it with nicety and caution, your elegance and talent will be evident if by putting ordinary words together you create a new voice.

Every man should be born again on the first day of January. Start with a fresh page. Take up one hole more in the buckle if necessary, or let down one, according to circumstances; but on the first of January let every man gird himself once more, with his face to the front, and take no interest in the things that were and are past.

I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're Doing Something.

You get your confidence and intuition back by trusting yourself, by being militantly on your own side. ... Don't look at your feet to see if you are doing it right. Just dance.

Almost any garden, if you see it at just the right moment, can be confused with paradise.

If the earth is man's extended body, to be loved and respected as one's own body, those who do no greening of themselves will hardly bring about the greening of America. The idea of 'greening' involves color, flowering, freshness of spring, and, above all, respect for what is organic and vegetative as distinct from the mechanical and metallic.

If an unusual necessity forces us onward, a surprising thing occurs. The fatigue gets worse up to a certain point, when, gradually or suddenly, it passes away and we are fresher than before!

It is useless to attack men who could not be controlled even if conquered, while failure would leave us in an even worse position.

If men do not now succeed in abolishing war, civilization and mankind are doomed.

Do not waste time bothering whether you "love" your neighbor; act as if you did.