Quotes on Liquor Funny

Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector. It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully.

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.

No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or so good as drink.

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.