Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FieldsRead
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
Interpretation
This quote humorously suggests that giving up drinking is a simple task, as the speaker has repeatedly done it without difficulty.
W. C. Fields, known for his comedic persona, uses this quote to highlight the irony of self-control and the struggle many face with drinking. By asserting that he's sworn off alcohol numerous times, he conveys a mix of humor and truth about the challenges of addiction, implying that while it may seem easy to stop, the reality is often quite different.
In practice
In a comedy club setting, as a punchline after discussing personal challenges with alcohol.
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.
Some marriages are made in heaven, Mine was made in Hong Kong, by the same people who make those little rubber pork chops they sell in the pet department at Kmart.
Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.
It wasn't that Nanny Ogg sang badly. It was just that she could hit notes which, when amplified by a tin bath half full of water, ceased to be sound and became some sort of invasive presence.
If you can't laugh at yourself, then how can you laugh at anybody else? I think people see the human side of you when you do that.
"I've learned what's funny verbally ain't so funny on e-mail: They don't hear your intonations. Melissa broke up with somebody over that. She tried to tell him: "That was a joke!" But he just didn't get it. Mick Jagger said, "F- 'em if they don't get the joke." And I love him. That comes with age: Knowing it's their problem, not mine."
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
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