Quotes on One Liner

Eisenhower admitted that the budget can't be balanced and McCarthy said the communists are taking over. You don't know what to worry about these days - whether the country will be overthrown or overdrawn.

If horses had controlled investment decisions, there would have been no auto industry.

I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The idea of being a character who is kind of isolated, I can relate to that.

Stand-up is the place where you can do things that you could never do in public.

There are certain things that cannot be adequately explained to a virgin either by words or pictures.

My folks were English. They were too poor to be British. I still have a bit of British in me. In fact, my blood type is solid marmalade.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.