I even watched Mulholland Drive in French... it didn't make much more sense in French, but I have to say, it didn't make any less sense either..

I want you to think back to when you were a kid. Remember the day you learned you could burn ants with a magnifying glass? Oh, what a great day that ….

Streaking. That's a very stupid young man thing to do. There is something ruder I can't mention. Celebs On Sunday, you're kinda clean, aren't you? Hm….

As a child, I was called stupid and lazy. On the SAT I got 159 out of 800 in math. My parents had no idea that I had a learning disability..

Life's a pitch, and then you buy..

You are someone and you have a right to your life..

I just like doing standup, that's all I'm interested in or good at..

But you see, a rich country like America can perhaps afford to be stupid..

Africa is to be pitied, worshipped or dominated.

History is absolutely my thing..

Before you attempt to set things right, make sure you see things right..

When you are in love- everything is romantic.

Joke number 1, I have a bit of a problem with jokes, bit of a handicap for a comedian obviously, um, I tend to bail out of the joke, I lose commitmen….

Living in England, provincial England, must be like being married to a stupid but exquisitely beautiful wife..

Only stupid questions create wealth..

You know, baseball's not stupid. Baseball does what the fans want, usually..

I think a high school girl hitchhiking is stupid. It was dangerous then and it's dangerous now..

Keep it weird. They'll get it later..

You can't possibly be right for everything..

No, there's going to be no even tenor with me. The more uneven it is the happier I shall be. And when my time comes to die, I'll be able to die happy….

You don't make a movie, the movie makes you..