Quotes on Witty

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.

But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.

If two things don't fit, but you believe both of them, thinking that somewhere, hidden, there must be a third thing that connects them, that's credulity.

I won't belong to a club that accepts me as a member

Some men change their party for the sake of their principles; others their principles for the sake of their party

It doesn't matter where we begin the personal/political circle, but it matters desperately that we complete it.

Women should be tough, tender, laugh as much as possible, and live long lives. The struggle for equality continues unabated, and the woman warrior who is armed with wit and courage will be among the first to celebrate victory.

Faced with having to change our views or prove that there is no need to do so, most of us immediately get busy on the proof.

If you like me, raise your hand. If you don't, raise your standards

If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well. It were done quickly.

Hell is paved with good intentions, not with bad ones. All men mean well.

Most women defend themselves. It is the female of the species-it is the tigress and lioness in you which tends to defend when attacked.

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

Imagine a puddle waking up one morning and thinking, " This is an interesting world I find myself in, an interesting hole I find myself in; fits me rather neatly, doesn't it? In fact it fits me staggeringly well! It must have been made to have me in it!

Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.

Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

Man is a being with free will; therefore, each man is potentially good or evil, and it's up to him and only him (through his reasoning mind) to decide which he wants to be.