Explore Quotes on Witty

If there's ever a woman who's smart, funny, or witty, people are afraid of that, so they don't write that. They only write parts for women where they let everything be steamrolled over them, where they let people wipe their feet all over them.

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

Man can not live by bread alone ... he must have peanut butter.

It's much simpler to be tortured on camera or to be filmed losing your mind. Whereas a script that has characters who are honest, witty and genuine is often much harder to act.

A witty woman is a treasure; a witty beauty is a power.

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.

Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.

Criticism is prejudice made plausible.

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.

Courtship is to marriage, as a very witty prologue to a very dull play.

To obtain an assured favorable response from people, it is better to offer them something for their stomachs instead of their brains.

Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner.

To hell with the cost, if it's a good story, I'll make it.

Keep a stiff upper chin.

Put it out of your mind. In no time, it will be a forgotten memory.

Gentlemen, listen to me slowly.