Quotes on Witty

People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they don't want it.

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.

Being president is like running a cemetery: you've got a lot of people under you and nobody's listening.

A witty woman is a treasure; a witty beauty is a power.

All science is either physics or stamp collecting.

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.

There is only one difference between a long life and a good dinner: that, in the dinner, the sweets come last.

Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary.

I've no idea where ideas come from and I hope I never find out; it would spoil the excitement for me if it turned out I just have a funny little wrinkle on the surface of my brain which makes me think about invisible train platforms.

Accept that all of us can be hurt, that all of us can and surely will at times fail. Other vulnerabilities, like being embarrassed or risking love, can be terrifying, too. I think we should follow a simple rule: if we can take the worst, take the risk.

The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back

The best thing about humour is that it shows people they are not alone.

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office.

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

Other people are quite dreadful. The only possible society is oneself.

I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.

I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.