Along the road of life are many pleasure resorts, but think not that by tarrying in them you will take more days to the journey. The day of your arri….

RAILROAD, n. The chief of many mechanical devices enabling us to get away from where we are to where we are no better off. For this purpose the railr….

mine, adj. Belonging to me if I can hold or seize it..

Think twice before you speak to a friend in need.

LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law..

REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that….

Be as decent as you can. Don't believe without evidence. Treat things divine with marked respect — don't have anything to do with them. Do not trust ….

PICKANINNY, n. The young of the "Procyanthropos", or "Americanus dominans". It is small, black and charged with political fatalities..

Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others..

INCOMPATIBILITY, n. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination. Incompatibility may, however, consist of a meek-eyed ….

TENACITY, n. A certain quality of the human hand in its relation to the coin of the realm. It attains its highest development in the hand of authorit….

ZANY, n. A popular character in old Italian plays, who imitated with ludicrous incompetence the _buffone_, or clown, and was therefore the ape of an ….

You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps..

BIRTH, n. The first and direst of all disasters. As to the nature of it there appears to be no uniformity. Castor and Pollux were born from the egg. ….

One engaged in a commercial pursuit. A commercial pursuit is one in which the thing pursued is a dollar..

NOTORIETY, n. The fame of one's competitor for public honors. The kind of renown most accessible and acceptable to mediocrity. A Jacob's-ladder leadi….

SATIRE, n. An obsolete kind of literary composition in which the vices and follies of the author's enemies were expounded with imperfect tenderness..

RECREATION, n. A particular kind of dejection to relieve a general fatigue..

Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk..

ABNORMAL, adj. Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested. ….

NECTAR, n. A drink served at banquets of the Olympian deities. The secret of its preparation is lost, but the modern Kentuckians believe that they co….