Explore Quotes by Bill Maher

This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution.

When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you are not an imperialist, the best countries to have with you are Britain and Spain.

Hi, I'm Bill. I'm a birth survivor.

It's all been satirized for your protection.

Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool.

The country has become much more conservative, partly because it's been taken over by the religious right.

We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly.

The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs.

Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious.

I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?

If you think you have it tough, read history books.

Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?

Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.

Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.

I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.

What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country.

The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it.

To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's the person who tells you the truth. That's who my real friends are. So, you know, I think as far as our country goes, we need more people who will do that.

We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think that religion stops people from thinking. I think it justifies crazies.

I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.

We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.