I went to Second City, where you learned to make the other actor look good so you looked good and National Lampoon, where you had to create everythin….

There's definitely a lot of trash that comes with the prize of being famous. It's a nice gift, but there's a lot of wrapping and paper and junk to cu….

I smell varmint poontang. And the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I think..

Every moment that you share someone else's pain, feel what they feel, makes you more human..

When you see grown men near to tears because they've missed hitting a little white ball into a hole from three feet, it makes you laugh..

Different vodkas have different effects. Some make you feel a little... poly-lingual. Some make you feel like you want to talk back to someone who's ….

Love can be seeing that here we are and there's this world here..

Totie Fields is one of my benchmarks for a lot of things. There was a standard of show business..

One of the things I like about acting is that, in a funny way, I come back to myself..

I realize it's impossible to have any sympathy, I mean, true sympathy, for people that are famous..

I think the only reason I've had the career life that I've had is that someone told me some secrets early on about living. You can do the very best y….

I didn't get into this position by being like a stiff sitting on the set in a folding chair. I did it by walking around on the streets and stirring t….

If I run into someone on the street, that's one thing. But answering mail for a living? I like a job where you can play and act kind of goofy and hav….

You had to keep the mood up; you had to keep the tempo up. You had to keep the feeling of, "Hey, we're doing something that's really exciting. It's f….

People say I'm difficult and sometimes that's a badge of honour..

You work, you get paid, you drink..

Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so. - Stephen Leacoc….

If you have someone that you think is The One, don't just sort of think in your ordinary mind, 'Okay, let's pick a date. Let's plan this and make a p….

The government can destroy wealth but it cannot create wealth, which is the product of labor and management working with creation..

I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters. That was a pretty good d….

To people who want to be rich and famous, I'd say, "Get rich first and see if that doesn't cover it.".