Explore Quotes by Bill Watterson

There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse!

You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.

Careful. We don't want to learn from this.

They say the secret of success is being at the right place at the right time, but since you never know when the right time is going to be, I figure the trick is to find the right place and just hang around.

I like my smock. You can tell the quality of the artist by the quality of his smock. Actually, I just like to say smock. Smock smock smock smock smock smock.

Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world's problems?

For no reason I can think of, I've wandered far astray. And that is how I got to where I find myself today.

Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine and valleys of frustration and failure.

To invent your own life's meaning is not easy, but it's still allowed, and I think you'll be happier for the trouble.

Specifically, I’d like to debate whether cannibalism ought to be grounds for leniency in murders, since it’s less wasteful.

Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?

What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?

Even if lives did hang in the balance, it would depend on whose they were.

Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ...and he's in prison... I hope I'm not too mature to gloat.

Hey Dad, will you buy me a flame thrower? Of course not. Don't be silly. Even if I didn't use it in the house?

That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.

If you can't win by reason, go for volume.

Sleepwalking?" "Nightmare?" "Homicidal psycho jungle cat!

Hobbes: How come we play war and not peace? Calvin: Too few role models.

Hee hee hee! You should've seen the look on your face!" "If mom and dad cared about me at all, they'd buy me some infra-red nighttime vision goggles.