You know, maybe we don't need enemies." "Yeah, best friends aree about all I can take..

It's not the medium, but the quality of perception and expression, that determines the significance of art..

I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification..

The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that's even worse.

I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal..

So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they're already met?.

Hee hee hee! You should've seen the look on your face!" "If mom and dad cared about me at all, they'd buy me some infra-red nighttime vision goggles..

If you have the personalities down, you understand them and identify with them; you can stick them in any situation and have a pretty good idea of ho….

But Calvin is no kind and loving god! He's one of the old gods! He demands sacrifice!.

Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book..

The writing doesn't distract me while I'm drawing and vice versa. I can devote my full attention to each..

Even if lives did hang in the balance, it would depend on whose they were..

I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness..

I enjoy the drawing more than the writing, so I try to think of ideas that will allow me to develop the visual side of the strip as fully as possible..

I like my smock. You can tell the quality of the artist by the quality of his smock. Actually, I just like to say smock. Smock smock smock smock smoc….

The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it..

If your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life..

I write separately from the inking up. I'm sure this varies from cartoonist to cartoonist; I find that the writing is the hard part and the drawing i….

I'd hate to have a kid like me..

I'm a misunderstood genius..

Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?.