It's my mind, and I reserve the right to change it as often as I like..

In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it's folded..

Once you become successful, people know where you live, the type of house you live in, the kind of car you drive, the clothes you wear, and so it wou….

Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!.

Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet..

When I was 12, we went from Glasgow to Aberdeen on a school trip. It was called fresh air fortnight..

The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards..

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter..

I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give y….

I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I've done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that….

Don't buy one of those baby intercoms. Babies pretend to be dead. They're bastards, and they do it on purpose..

Sometimes there's a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I've ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of t….

There's no such thing as bad weather - only the wrong clothes..

Try to live in a place you like..

Avoid people who say they know the answer. Keep the company of people who are trying to understand the question..

Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh..

I’ve come in and out of America for… well, I’ve lived here for 15 years. And I’ve played here for nearly 30 years. On and off. But I’ve always played….

Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on..

I think comedy is difficult, and I'm amazed so many people want to do it. I'll be buying jeans and somebody will say, "I'm a comedian" - the guy sell….

I think of my life as a series of moments and I've found that the great moments often don't have too much to them. They're not huge, complicated even….

I just believe in the movie. I don't care what the book was like. I don't care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only ….