Oh my God, Kennedy Airport - what a mess - all over you with those dopey security questions. 'Did you receive any gifts from any unknown persons?' Bu….

There are so many opportunities that I could've gotten before if I had just took a little more of a risk..

As a writer, the worst thing you can do is work in an environment of fear of rejection..

Stand-up comedy - I love this job, and I gotta tell you, folks - knock wood - it's been working. 'Cause I was one of those kind of people, even when ….

Obviously, at this age, I've lost people in my life. But with a parent, it's just different. I was very attached to my father and had this naive litt….

My father was the kind of guy who'd always say 'Throw out any subject and I got a joke on it,'.

You know what kills me about Jennifer Lopez? The fact that this woman wakes up one day and she's like, 'You know what? From now on, I'd like people t….

All my other relationships with men, there was so much maneuvering and strategic decisions and stuff..

I was watching Maury Povich the other day. He had these people on who say that they've had near death experiences. Do you ever notice they always say….

My stand-up act is very clean..