Explore Quotes by Dane Cook

Anger has a way of seeping into every other emotion and planting itself in there.

You've gotta share what's going on in your mind.

In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak.

I like fearless characters, people just not afraid to do anything it takes to make people laugh.

I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'

Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.

I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.

I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.

I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.

When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.

I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...

When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.

On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.

When you don't have love, it's like there's a party going on, and everybody was invited, except for you. And you just happened to be walking by that house in the rain...

When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love.

I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school

I don't know if I could kill someone with a frozen turkey because that is a lot of evidence to eat .... unless I found a whole room of people who also wanted that person dead.

It was peace. Peace is when you would shake the hands of the people around you. And you knew peace was coming because the priest would say it five times rapid fire. He'd go, “My peace I leave, my peace I give to you. While we ate Reese's Pieces with the Lord. And I have a piece of lint in my peaceful eye"!

When you see somebody walking down the street wearing a Superman t-shirt, you just want to shoot them in the chest ... when they start to bleed go, I guess not

There's estrogen running through my veins!

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